


Clothes Shopping

by Last_Haven



Series: Shitennou in Crystal Tokyo AU [4]
Category: Sailor Moon - All Media Types
Genre: Crossdressing, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-03
Updated: 2013-10-03
Packaged: 2017-12-17 13:03:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/867843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Last_Haven/pseuds/Last_Haven
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zoisite makes a discovery and he cannot let it slide.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Clothes Shopping

**Author's Note:**

> Sequel to Fabricated

Something was rotten in the palace of Crystal Tokyo; and unfortunately for Zoisite, he discovered the problem in his wife’s underwear drawer.

When they got married, Serenity and Endymion’s wedding present was a large suite of rooms of their own in the palace. They kept their old rooms as well, but took their personal items with them to the suite. Zoisite had held out on moving his dresses for last, just to make sure no one discovered them. To his joy, Mercury was perfectly happy to let him put some of his, ah, more “questionable” items in her set of drawers. (At least if someone went snooping, no one would wonder why he had about a dozen sets of panties in his drawers. The lacy ones especially.)

The problem was, he found, that his special underwear wasn’t particularly hard to tell apart from hers—his was soft, new, or delicate and all a little on the skimpy side. (So sue him—if you’re going to dress up like a girl, might as well wear nice things from the bottom up in his opinion.) Hers, on the other hand, were frankly…unflattering in his opinion.

“Jesus Christ, granny panties!” he muttered eyes wide as he picked up one of the offending pair of underwear. To his horror, the lining around the elastic in one of leg holes was loose, exposing the elastic. They were slightly gray from the many washings but once upon a time it appeared they were actually flowery.

Dropping it back in the drawer, he looked at her bra collection. They were all the same—white, or at least _once_ white, all looking a little worn. A few even had holes in them.

Zoisite took a step back from the dresser and came to a conclusion.

He was a better dresser than his wife. He was a better dresser _with his own girl clothes_ than his _wife_.

There was only one thing for it.

“AMI, WE’RE GOING SHOPPING. WHERE ARE THE CREDIT CARDS?”

“In your blue purse—and why are we going?”

Zoisite grinned wickedly as he scrambled for his favorite blue purse.

* * *

“I don’t see what the problem is,” Mercury insisted, but let her husband drag her around the mall. Honestly, it was like shopping with the girls back when they were teens, so she didn’t _really_ mind—actually it was kind of fun, like traveling back in time without the headache of using the Time Gate.

“Babe, when _I’m_ a snazzier dresser with women’s clothes _there is a problem,_ ” Zoisite retorted. He would have gone on but a dress in a window caught his eyes. It was short and red, clinging tightly to the mannequin. “If only I had the curves…” he sighed.

Mercury smiled, patting the back of his hand with her free hand. “Red’s not really your color either.”

He turned and gave her a look. “Does this mean you don’t like that red one of mine?” he grinned. “Funny, I could have sworn otherwise.”

Zoisite was glad she still blushed around him—it was adorable. “Well, green goes with your eyes better,” she answered, reaching out to tug on the hunter green shirt he wore under his coat.

He could barely contain his smirk. “You didn’t answer me! I _knew_ you like it.”

Mercury rolled her eyes fondly. “It’s an _exception_.”

“Admit it—you just think it makes my ass look good.”

He felt something strong and warm in his stomach when she smiled. It was too bad she didn’t like big, public displays of affection because he _really_ wanted to kiss her. “I thought we were going shopping for me?”

She was trying to distract him, but she had a point; he gave her a smirk to let her know he wouldn’t forget it, but turned back to walking towards their mutually favorite clothes store. The fact they sold jeans that were loose enough not to expose him but still manage to show off his butt pretty much won him over for life—Ami just liked their cheap prices although sometimes Venus and Zoisite liked to double-team her to make sure she picked out more flattering clothing.

Unfortunately, for once their favorite store let them down; there was nothing that was both cute and or sexy enough for Zoisite and nothing tame enough for Mercury that they could both agree on (although there was a top there that Zoisite talked her into trying on that they did buy, so it wasn’t a complete loss). The next stop was more helpful; although she refused to try the fiery red bra and panty set he tried to get her to buy.

In the end, they ended up visiting half a dozen clothing stores before Zoisite was satisfied. They had quite a few of everything—including a green pair of panties with cartoon frog face on it that Zoisite didn’t even have to try to talk her into—and Zoisite had a few items himself that he was half torn to just go home and start wearing them right then. But then he heard the magic words and stopped dead in his tracks.

“What was that?”

“The bookstore’s having a sale,” she repeated, pointing to the mall’s (unfortunately) only bookstore.

Zoisite snatched her free hand and nearly sprinted over to Mercury’s amusement. “Take the credit cards and don’t let me buyhalfthestoregottatgobye,” he shouted as he handed her his wallet and raced inside.

“Meet you out at the register before seven, alright?” she called after him. He waved over his shoulder and she sighed, already knowing she was going to have to drag him out of there bodily. Again. “Maybe he won’t try to buy two dozen books this time.”

To his credit, he only tried to buy ten. But then she had a few books of her own so she didn’t make him put most of them back when she pulled him back to the front. The cashier gave them dark looks—she’d been waiting for them to purchase something for two hours and it was nearly closing time. They bought their books quickly and fled her short temper.

“This is why I don’t like shopping on weekdays; the mall closes up too early,” he told her as they hurried out of the mall. It was nearly deserted already and Mercury felt embarrassed as she pulled him along. “You wanna get something to eat first before we go home?”

Considering the fact that they hadn’t eaten in hours, she gave him a dry look when she answered yes.

He grinned a little sheepishly. “How about burgers at McDonalds?”

She sighed. “It’s greasy.”

“You’re spoiled on Jupiter’s cooking—c’mon, let me have my greasy, artery clogging, heart attack inducing food once in awhile,” he begged, even ducking his knees a bit to nearly kneel before her, “and ignore that little ‘I’m a doctor, I know better’ voice. _Please?”_

She shook her head at him. “You techies and your terrible food,” she teased him.

He let out an exuberant whoop and even hopped, but didn’t let her comment by without one of his own as they walked away. “Well, we know how to eat at least—you doctors and your boring ‘cholesterol free, low sodium, free range tofu’ stuff just can’t satisfy me.”

If she were Venus, she would have reminded him that he was quite satisfied just last night thank you very much. If she were Mars, she might haven even smacked him. Instead she just rolled her eyes at him. “Tofu’s not free range, dear.”

 _“That’s what it want you to think,”_ he nodded and she tried not to laugh. “Hey! Circuitry ‘R We is still open—let’s go.”

Mercury cringed. “I cannot believe Umino named his shop that.”

“I know, it was a terrible joke to begin with,” he sniggered. “You got to admit though; he’s got great stuff in there.”

They lost another two hours with Zoisite gushing over everything. Mercury just tried to pretend to be looking at computers and generally putting as much space as she could between the two of them while he went on and on. Just when she had worked up the courage to go reclaim him, he came to her to declare he was starving and they needed to leave right then and there or he would expire on the spot.

That didn’t stop him from still buying things, to her amusement.

* * *

Luckily, no one spotted them as they got back to the palace—if Venus or Serenity had spotted them, they would have demanded to see their purchases, and Mercury wasn’t sure if she could put up with having to show her new underwear to them. “Even if they are adorable,” she added.

Zoisite smirked. “But the frog panties are jus _dar~ling._ ”

She swung her shoulder into his arm, making him dance away with a laugh. “Just so we’re clear, you do not get to borrow those.”

“Aw, Ami, c’mon! You said I look good in green!”

“No.”

“ _Please?”_

_“No.”_


End file.
